Monday, April 25, 2011

Not that I'm complaining BUT...

04/09/11 - I remember this. Very clearly. I remember being afraid for the first time in years. Not of Him. But of me. Of my reaction to Him. Of how He made me feel. I just... I felt things that no one ever mentioned in other blogs. I felt... goddammit, it wasn't fear. Why wasn't it ever fear...? I'll touch back to this in the future. It's too much to just... add in.

I was less than ten feet from you on Saturday.

You watched me.

You got in my head.

You found Val.

Then... you disappeared. Saw absolutely fucking NOTHING of you on Sunday.

Then we had today. Wonderful today.

Not that I'm complaining... but why the Hell are you staying so far away NOW?

Way out in the fields.

Along the treelines.

What the devil are you waiting for?

WHAT THE DEVIL ARE YOU FUCKING WAITING FOR?!

...

For the rest of you... I did my best to ignore Him today. I wanted to throw out some lines into the community (not really good at it, but hey). I needed to get into a threatening-match with Morningstar (that was actually rather amusing~). At a request from a friend of a friend, I also changed my blog background (Hi, Kay). But... fuck... I don't know how to handle this...

He's just out there. Waiting. Watching. Studying. Whatever the Hell he does.

It's like waiting for a fucking clock to tick down.

It's wearing on my ner-- ah, son of a...

He's out in the field again. I can see Him out the goddamn window...

What the HELL is He WAITING FOR?!

3 comments:

  1. It's what he does. He feeds off that anxiety. Get yourself under control. You won't survive a damn thing if you burn out early.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sage... I'm not FREAKING, okay? I'm about as level as I ever am. He's just pissing me OFF. If the storm is going to hit... THEN LET IT FUCKING HIT.

    ReplyDelete
  3. either way, it's best to stay as calm and rational as you can. anger will burn you out too.

    ReplyDelete