Monday, April 4, 2011


You know... I was planning to let this just drop. I was planning to just let my thoughts boil silently... but you know what? FUCK IT~ I made this blog for a reason: To rant. While this isn't the intended subject nor really a rant, per se... I don't care at the moment. I can't comment on the blog directly otherwise Val will definitely find out that I broke our little deal... so here will just have to do.

I finished "A Hint of Serendipity" - Zero's blog in the Slenderverse. I was a little disappointed to read in "Zero Hour" that he was most likely killing off his character, but instead of really giving it much thought past 'oh, damn', I just went to his profile to see what blogs he had been paying attention to (I've discovered that's a good way to find the nooks and crannies of this community)... and I found his new blog: "The Last Refuge of a Dangerous Man." Mood at that point? Pleased. He was "alive" (aka: didn't abandon the project) and his character had become twisted to the point of being nearly unrecognizable in every way, shape, and form. Good plot development~ Especially the part about going after Runners... harvesting a bone from their corpses, hm? Though it came as a bit of surprise Zero would opt for such a brutal approach, I'd be more likely to believe THIS could work than giving Slendy a twenty dollar bill. Like... seriously. Why must it be Runners though? Why not Proxies? He said it himself that he wouldn't feel bad for killing those off. Meh, Zero's always had a taste for the dramatic flare~

Really, Zero (or should I say Zerosage?) comes off as a bit of a religious nut at the moment, but he's still awesome in my books.

Now, while I would love to tear a new one on some of the commenters on that blog for their idiocy, I have a different purpose for this post.

I have a MESSAGE FOR ZEROSAGE DIRECTLY, should he happen to stumbled across my pathetic little blog here sooner rather than later... slim chance, but, hey, I need this. For simplicity, I've copy and pasted the comments below that are most relevant.

zerosage said... How can I trust you? You did...things, or claimed you did. You 'healed' wounds, you say. Your friend summoned a fucking devil, or claims therein. I think you're both mad. As for Kay, perhaps she was drugged, I've learned that jade can tell if someone is tainted. I don't need it to know you two are doing things you shouldn't.

Hakurei Ryuu said... I did things that anyone can do with the proper knowledge, preparation, and skill, and so did my friend. There is nothing mad about me, although I cannot speak for Amalgamation, as he makes no claims at sanity. In fact, he disclaims it at every opportunity. It is my opinion that the only way to keep moving foward is to do the best we can to help the largest number of people. You can trust me or not, as you like, but I'm not going to stop trying to make you see reason. I would like to help you, Zero, if I can.

There was a bit more, but this works fine enough. So, Zerosage... you think Hakurei is insane for use of her 'healing abilities' in her blog? The ones she used to partly heal the wounds of 'Kay'? Heheh, well, I hate to burst your bubble... but I know for an absolute fact that the abilities Valerie used in her RPG/fanfic thing are quite real. Why shouldn't she use her full capabilities in your little Slenderverse? She is playing as herself. And 'herself' is rather... purifying~

I should know.

She healed me.

I know you don't believe me. Right now, your character isn't believing anyone, so why should you yourself? Probably a smart thing, considering what you've labeled your objective as. But, for a few moments... humor me and read along~

I first crossed paths with the username 'Hakurei Ryuu' on in 2007. She had excellent writing skills for character development... but not so much so with action. I was vice versa. After a few comments back and forth, we exchanged emails to help each other out with our admitted weaknesses. At this time, writing was my only real release, so I welcomed a chance to improve what I could do and push the boundary more with my angst/horror/suspense stories. Looking back at it, I'm surprised she liked my story enough to read it to begin with. Torture, gore, and angst isn't really Val's thing~

We're polar opposites. Black to White. Negative to Positive. She challenged me on every ground there was without actually challenging me. She let my own head do the footwork, she just made the initial impression to get things in motion. Her way of thinking was so totally strange to me. I couldn't understand how someone could be so... light. At first I tried to labeled it as 'naive' but... it was clear right from the start that she was a hell of a lot smarter than I was. Hell, she was going to school to be a psychologist, for crying out loud! She knew what she was talking about. She accepted the fact that humans were capable of horrible things... but maintained 100% of the time that we were all generally good people. That no one was a lost cause. That we could all be helped. That we should all TRY to help.

She just... confused the living shit out of me.

She pushed me to rethink what I'd made into fact in my head. She always accepted me as me - dark, twisted, insane - but, at the same time... she would ask me to consider different points of view. She would talk about her friends every once in a while and I could tell from talking back and forth how much some of them drained her. She gave her everything into friendships. That was yet another thing I couldn't understand for the life of me: How giving she was. I had believed for so long that Valerie's "kind" didn't exist anymore. Humans are barbaric and cruel - no one cares about anyone anymore! And yet... Val did. But she didn't only care for victims... she cared for the predators too! The people that caused the pain! She would talk about how much pain people like that must be in to want to hurt someone else...

I was bridging on being one of those predators... and she felt compassion for those thoughts?

Valerie... is one of those special souls who light the darkness with their presence alone. I was so consumed in my own darkness and rage back then... that I know for a fact today that I would be dead if Valerie had not been there - if she'd not challenged me. She pulled me from my depression and my rage OVER THE INTERNET and healed some of the wounds over my soul. I'll say that again: wounds on my soul. Think about how the body can heal itself in time. Think about it. The soul is a hell of a lot different. To heal it takes a hell of a lot more than patching together some little cuts~ Hakurei Ryuu is a Healer. A true, honest Healer.

And, before you start arguing that written text doesn't have that kind of power... tell me again how our beloved Slender Man was created~? Words have power. Spoken or written. Period.

I made a promise back then to not give in to my own violent desires.

I made a promise to forgive and let the pain go.

I made a promise... to try to help others like she helped me.

I'm still dark.

I'm still insane.

I still have desires.

But I'm not depressed anymore.

I'm not lost anymore.

I like who I am.

I'm starting to trust people.

I'm starting to feel a bit more than I used to.

I've made a few friends.

And it's all because of Valerie. No one else but her could have cracked my shell. No one else could have pulled me out of the spiral I was in. She reached me because she is Light. And if she can do that to someone over fucking emails... I for one would love to see what she is capable of in person.

She wants to help you, Zerosage.

You can deny her... but you know what the kicker is? As long as you read what she writes, she'll be reaching you. Just like she did me.

...And you're not even going to realize it~

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