02/12/11 - And here goes the beginning of the end. It's nearly funny actually... reading back on all of this, I can see all the little slips. I can see myself gradually getting angrier... and yet, I thought I was hiding it so well.
Blogger still won't let me comment around so... I'll just make a post out of it. What the hell, right?
Hakurei, I am so relieved you're alright. I was getting worried when there wasn't an update.... guess I should sign into instant messangers more than I have been, hm? Congratulations, guys! You're an excellent team.
Now to some more unpleasant responses........
Some of you agreed with my choice with Becky, some of you didn't. I know Hakurei is upset with me but... I'm not her. I never claimed to be. I'm not you either, Sage, and, really, the name-calling is just childish. Grow up. Do you actually think that sort of approach is going to get me to straighten up and fly straight and all that crap? Hm? "Do better next time"... is that an order, sir? Fuck you. You're title is going to your head already, I see. AmalgamationSage: The New Robert. I can see it now.
Ladies and gentlemen... if you believe in a God, better start praying.
Jesus Christ.
Black Hawk, Mystery, Eternity... thank you for your level input. It's appreciated.
And then... some newer readers: Thage and Naomi.
Thage, for being so smart, I find it hard to believe that you'd resort to labeling. Really? I'm "trying to sound like a badass"? I killed a kid earlier in the week. Murder. I sacrificed her to the Slender Man to save my best friend's kid.... and I'd do it again if put in the same situation. That qualifies as "trying to be badass" to you? If I wanted that, don't you think I would have lied? Made up some fantastic story where I saved Hailey and Becky and also rescued a Granny from a burning building while discovering the cure for cancer? I'm not trying to be anything. I know I'm a nothing, a nobody. I'm not a piece on your chess board. I'm not someone to look up to and, if you do, might I suggest some therapy? It might help. No, I'm just me, Thage. I'm trying to tell the truth - something that's not easy for me to start with. I honestly don't give a flying fuck what any of you think of me at the end of the day cause, guess what? You're a username on a screen. That's it.
Label me if you want to. "Goth" is a new one, I must admit. It's not me though - too much makeup and weird-ass clothes. I'm a farm girl - think 'ripped jeans and a grease-smeared t-shirt with a farmer's tan and knotted hair.' That's me. Sorry to screw with your mental-image on that one, but now I have one of you as one of those brainy snobs from high school that looked down their noses at everyone around them. Labeling. Judging. Crushing. Good times. I'd say that makes us about even then, yes?
What is it with all you people and your titles? Your labels?
Proxies. Agents. Hollowed. Runners. Fighters. Sages. Heroes. Guardians. Mystics. Hermits. Sorceresses. Sorcerers. Witches. Lords. Ladies. Good. Evil.
Feel like I'm back in high school.....
Naomi... why can't you kill him yourself? Need someone as a shield? He's wandering around Eastern Ontario. Go and get him.
...
Actually, that reminds me. I nearly forgot about the insignificant one. Morningstar? Not sure if I should be pleased you support what I did or not but... for the other comment you made? Go to Hell.
...
For those of you who actually give a shit: I found Christian. I went to see him yesterday. After some arguing and name calling and some comments that made a chill go down my spine. He agreed to help, so we're setting down everything he has today. Would the lot of you PLEASE stop judging me and try to actually HELP Hailey??? Any suggestions at all. I'd message Zerosage if I could, but I can't comment so... FUCK. She's THREE, okay? Stop focusing on me and realize that there's a bigger issue here than whether or not I have a moral center. None of your business anyway.....
Michelle. This is getting a little ridiculous. People are trying to be nice here. Sage offered you help and advice, and you spat it back in his face. No one is trying to be patronizing (except maybe Thage back there), but you can't seem to get past your old habits. You're even pushing ME away, staying off aim and calling me Hakurei all the time. You don't need to do that, Michelle. You really don't.
ReplyDeleteSuch HOSTILITY. I love it. Keep it up, you'll make a GREAT Chosen someday. Or rather, you WOULD make a good chosen, if I was not going to break every bone in your body to mess with Haku-Chan. But it's the thought that counts right?
ReplyDeleteMitch, I salute your minty fresh breath and your absolute adherence to self-denial.
ReplyDeleteHave a nice life.
I found your comment over on that fucktard Alex's blog and thought you were a pretty neat bitch so I came over here to say hello. We could chat about all the idiots out there in the world, and things would just be fucking fantastic.
ReplyDeleteExcept for the fact that some of the things you've said have rubbed me the wrong way. Quite a few of the things, actually.
Your concept of heroism is so small that I simply cannot begin to understand it. No one expects to be the shining knight to save us all. Fuck, no one expects the shining knight to even exist. This is the real world. We all know that.
This isn't about fucking rainbows and lollipops. This isn't about being a hero. This isn't about being remembered. This is about fighting to our last breath and doing whatever the fuck we can to try and be the best we can despite our situation.
You want to know why so many people are pissed at you about the kid you sacrificed to save Hailey and Becky? You didn't even try to find a better way. You just let her go with the monster. And then, on top of that, you claim to have no regrets about the situation. You do all this, and then chide us for trying to maintain our humanity.
I don't like being called a "hero", but that's beside the point.
Why play the hero?
Because you truly die with no regrets.
Because the difficulty is worth being human.
Because it's better than causing grief to the rest of the damn world by being a sociopath.
Of course I'm being patronizing. "I killed someone, I'd do it again, I'm justified," and the 'snarky' commentary?
ReplyDeleteHere's a news flash. I've killed four people, because there was no other option. I don't go around bragging about it because I'm not a criminally-insane sociopath. I don't act like that kid who screams about nobody understanding her (while everyone understands her perfectly, because she's little more than a by-the-numbers cliche) because people do understand, a lot better than any teenager will ever give people credit for.
But, please, by all means. Continue posting all the information an enterprising police officer would need to put you away for premeditated murder and second-degree. It's not like police ever log onto the internet, right?
Thank you for being you, Mitch. It's nice to know that, despite the fact that I'm responsible for several deaths, hundreds of felonies and years of pain and misery being inflicted on innocent people, I'm not the worst person in the world. My sincere thanks.
ReplyDeleteThe Mad Ventriloquist believes that sociopathy is a rare gift. He also believes that Mitch does not have it. She will feel, and regret. It might take a while though. Sometimes it does.
ReplyDeleteShe does have a point that a child is involved, though. The Mad Ventriloquist may not agree with her, but someone does need to protect the child. Perhaps we should worry about how to help Hailey without throwing other children under buses.
Just thought I'd offer my assistance if you wanted it, but now that I know where his general location is Bianca, and I'll be making our way there.
ReplyDelete