Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Heroes

I've never rooted for the hero. Ever.

It has never mattered whether it's a comic, a manga, a novel, a tv show, an anime, a movie... it's always been the villain who I wanted to see rise above all the rest. Hell, even in video games I preferred the "evil" characters over the "good" ones you were supposed to be playing. Good ol' Pokemon, for example. Oh, yes, I'm going there for a just a sec~ I had all the old school games for the Nintendo Black and White GameBoy and the original GameBoy Colour..... and I would have given my eye teeth to be able to join Team Rocket.

Why?

The answer is always the same.

"Good" always got on my nerves. Too judgemental. Too hypocritical. Too optimistic. Too idealist. Too shallow-thinking. Too well-liked.

"Evil" on the other hand... was usually the underdog in terms of popularity; The characters usually had rather out-of-the-box thinking; They could make a choice when proposed with one - not waste time and energy chasing the impossible; They had accepted long ago that the world is a harsh place and friendship and rainbows aren't going to protect you from the crap that'll get thrown your way; They had more interesting backgrounds... and, when they hadn't been given such, you could MAKE interesting backgrounds that would explain why they are the way they are. In any case, it always proved to be a very amusing ride to "get to know them."

I find myself fascinated with Slender Man, personally. Annoyed and pissed to hell, yes, but still rather fascinated. One tall mystery after another and, I don't care what the hell the rest of you say, He's goddamn smart. As in Redlight-level of smart. Why do you think the Second in Command has to be as brilliant a mastermind as what he is? It's because his BOSS is just as bad. I dare you all: Mock Him. Zeke did it and nearly died - saved by... Kiera? I think? Hard to keep things straight nowadays.... anyway, I did it by going out to see Him that night I posted that message of WTF, and... yeah, well, I wouldn't classify that as "going well." If the rest of you really think He's such a fool...... then test it. The Black King awaits. Why not? Afraid to die a few months earlier than planned~? Ha.

And now we're back into the curse of the Three Sages. Do you know what the true definition of insanity is? It's doing the same thing over and over and over and expecting a different result. Core Theory DOES HAVE PROMISE, but it's failed TWICE. I swear, if it were up to me, Hakurei would not be involved at all. The other two... well, don't really care, to be honest. They can do what they want.

But... Three Sages... where is the darling Hero? Still MIA?

I've noticed around the blogs.... that so many of you seem to want to play that Hero role. I suppose we could blame the Elephant Man and Core Theory for practically breeding this mentality, but it would have been there anyway. After all, Slender Man is the ultimate archnemesis, yes? And the Proxies prancing around like the typical useless army of idiots that they are... well, that just seals the deal, hm? Zero is the most obvious example of this little trend, tied with dear ol' Robert. Zeke has now decided it's up to HIM and HIM alone - he was badass until that point. Seriously, age makes a difference here, Zeke? Really? Reach was always willing to throw himself at the enemy with no plan once or ever in order to buy time for someone else to get away - admirable, but certainly has that flavour of Hero, hn? Sage (now a name and a Title) does his thing to save the world, astral plane or not. Then there's Kay and Hakurei... heh... banishing the madness one tainted mind at a time, eh, guys? Love ya, Hakurei, but it still has that tone of "Save The Day," yes?

What I can't understand for the life of me... is why?

Why play the Hero?

You'll only die sooner.

You'll only have it harder.

You'll only cause more grief to those around you.

Ever hear the phrase: "The squeaky wheel gets the grease"? Well, in this case, it's "the one who makes the most trouble gets to be the most gory Christmas decoration ever."

And then of course there are some of you seem to think that it's "Heroes" - as in we all are. Insert a groan here, please and thank you. Seriously. We are ALL the Heroes? Someones been watching too much Disney. BELIEVE IN THE MAGIC OF FRIENDSHIP~!!! I can see it now: Rainbows will be Slender Man's bindings and Fuzzy Kittens will lick Him to death! Such a glorious victory for mankind!

...I think I just scarred my own blog.

Slender Man will slaughter you and, frankly, it would ease the headache caused by reading that level of dribble.

No, there is only one Hero. One person who the Community follows and cares for more than anyone else. One person who will face Slender Man and die. One person who will cause a wave through the Community so strong that could very well wield enough anger and conviction to finally defeat Him - if only by sealing, if not death - and stop the cycle. One person. That's it. Who is that One? Fuck if I know. I don't really like anyone so it's hard for me to say. Spin a bottle?

Don't read me wrong here: I'm not claiming a damn thing.

I'm no Hero. Not even close. Nor do I want to be. Hell, I don't want any title at all.

If I was a Hero... or wanted to be one... I would have never let Him take her today. But I did. I watched and did nothing. Hell, I was somewhat relieved. After all, He had been after Hailey. Rebecca (Becky) just became... convenient.

Lil' Becky is/was the kid of Tanya's neighbour who lives beneath her part of the duplex. The girl is/was about ten - red hair, freckles, green eyes, a bit tall for her age. I've only seen her a handful of times beforehand and, really, I didn't pay much attention to her existence when I had. Kind enough girl, I guess. Like I've said in past posts: I don't like kids. If I can ignore them, I do.

Anyway, like I've said before - I'm attempting to make catnaps my norm. I've had a few people freak so far because they thought I said I WAS going to stop sleeping (suicide watch?) but I guess I'm going to blame THAT on me not being very choosy with my wording at 5am after running through that marathon in my head yet again. People need to stop taking things so literally. Just because I WANT to do something doesn't mean I actually will. I've WANTED to do a lot of things in my life. Most of which you don't want to hear about, but some of the less intense fantasies include but are not limited to stabbing a pencil into one of my old teacher's eye and then driving their head into a wall to drive it right back into the brain. The expression of pain, shock, horror... hehe, would have been lovely... but I digress. Yes, catnaps are good when timed correctly. I still feel like absolute hell and I'm starting to get noticed in that way from my family but... gotta roll with the punches, eh?

So... with catnaps giving me extra hours to fill, one of my norms has become checking up on Tanya and Hailey when I can. Kent, her boyfriend, lives there too but is rarely home so... yeah, I'm not really worried about him. He's one of those guys that look as though they could take on an army themselves. Even I watch my words a touch with him since I'd rather not get into THAT fight, and that's saying something. But yes, the other two I've been more than a bit worried about since the "Tall Man" has caught Hailey's attention. There have been odd incidences here and there - a suit standing far off down the street (I'd wait in my car until He decided to move on) - but, for the most part, there hasn't really been much in the way of activity there apart from the odd flash of black out of the corner of my vision (paranoia/reality/no idea/call it what you want). Today though.... I was glad I was driving past. Truly.

I could see Him so clearly - standing just across the street from their home. Anger was the first thing to hit me - first Bogie, and now Hailey? Now Tanya? FUCK NO. HELL NO. NO WAY IN GODDAMN HELL. I beelined for Him... but slammed on the brakes when I saw Hailey stepping off the last step of the duplex and running from the stairs out onto the street. I don't even remember if I put the parking brake on before I lunged out of it - grabbing Hailey up off the ground. It's all just a blur. A lot of things are these days. I do remember how He looked at me then - the kid squirming on my hip, my arms around her... and me staring right back. I was pissed, but I was also terrified. Not of Him, but of losing them. I think He knows the difference. His attention seemed to flicker between me and Hailey as I started backing up towards the house - never taking my eyes off Him. I was laughing still, like I always seem to be with Him around, but I felt no humor. Only a pit in my stomach that grew as He..... as He began to walk across the street. Hailey was squirming badly - yelling things at me to put her down (I think), but I wasn't really cluing into that. I yelled at Him then - I don't even remember what. It was just whatever was coming to my tongue at that point. At first I thought it was something I had said that made Him stop... or maybe that I had grabbed my brother's hunting knife with my free hand from its sheath around behind my back... but that's when I saw movement behind me and glanced back to see Becky having just come out of the front door of her home. She was looking right passed me and at Him - eyes huge in awe and wonder. Then she grinned broadly - showing missing teeth - and followed that track.

I did nothing. I let her walk by me and up to the "Tall Man." He just watched as she approached, His head tilting just slightly before He looked back at me - like He was actually wondering what I would do. My reaction? I just held onto Hailey tighter. It was a sacrifice and I accepted it. I think... He was amused. At least, that was the feel I got from Him at that point. He HAD been annoyed, challenging... and now He was amused. He then turned back to Becky and held out His hand to her (even His damn fingers are long). She took it without hesitation and the two turned. I watched the entire time until they disappeared down between two buildings - her trotting at His side to keep up.

He was going to take one of them. I chose Hailey to stay. He had given me that choice. For now.

After He was out of view, Hailey suddenly stopped squirming and asked such an innocent question: "Mishowwl... where did Ecky go?"

I took her back inside without a word.

I'm staying the night at Tanya's - actually that's where I'm typing this. Amber Alert has been going on for hours now. There's been police and everything outside looking for a missing child that I know is never going to turn up. I told the police I didn't see a thing. It's simpler that way.

Becky is gone because of my inaction and that's that. Hailey is temporarily spared. I have no regrets.

I'm going to tell Tanya tonight what's happening. She needs to know. The Black King won't stop just because He got Becky today. Maybe this way there's a chance Hailey can still be spared. A lot of us did get away as children... I need to know HOW.

If any of you know any tricks, please share them. I don't care if you don't agree with what I did today - this is about HAILEY and not ME. Please don't confuse that. She's only THREE. She deserves longer. Please. For now I'm going to make up a charm thing like I suggested Mystery did for his niece, but I really need more ideas than just that. I don't care what level they sink to - whatever might work, I'll do.

5 comments:

  1. I can feel you when it comes to the Slender curiosity...I admit, I feel it too, when I see Him, when I hear Him.. And those who think He's stupid have it coming. He's always there no matter where you run to.
    And I'm really sorry I don't have any advice for on about how to save Hailey. I hope you can preserve her from Him. He doesn't need any more victims, especially not those who can't fight back for themselves. I've kind of always wondered if surviving him as a little kid marks you when you get older.
    Good luck Mitch. I hope you get the help you need.

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  2. So you let him take the kid. Fucking hell, Mitch. What the hell is wrong with you? I'd have a couple of regrets over this shit. If you DON'T have regrets, then you're a cold, heartless sack of crap!

    Being a hero sucks, but I'd prefer knowing I did the right thing when I went to bed at night to the alternative. And when you win? Oh it is glorious.

    Get off your damn high horse and think about the kid you just sent to death. Do better next time. "No regrets". what the fuck, Mitch?

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  3. Bravo. You might just last longer than I thought. I am IMPRESSED that you had the guts to make this sacrifice. These other soft hearted weaklings would have probably sacrificed themselves to save the child. Which is pointless, because He would then kill the children after He killed the wannabe hero. You made the smart choice, despite what these other idiots say.
    You know. You would good proxy. At least as good as Me. Maybe better. We are more alike than you think, I believe.

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  4. I don't see it as playing the hero. I see it as looking after what's mine. My family, my friends... if I name them so, they are mine and I claim so few things for myself. But it's a matter of attachment... of degree of connection.

    My family, my friends, my race, my home, my world... to name something your own gives you power to influence it, but it also makes you responsible for defending it however you deem necessary. I was content to sit back and expand the knowledge base so to speak. I was content to tabulate and share information with others.

    I don't think I can do that any more. If that makes me a hero... there are worse things to be called. They used to call me a witch in school. So I took the name and made it mine so it wouldn't hurt any more. Aren't names like masks? Maybe that's why the proxies cling to them.

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  5. I take your side in this. A sacrifice must always be made. What matters is what you truly want. Mystery is correct-naming something as yours gives you a certain power over it.

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