Wednesday, October 12, 2011

On the road again...

Been keeping on the road the last few days. I couldn't drive (safely) the first day I was back with Valerie, so we had to settle for just moving to a nearby motel since I didn't want to stay at my friends' place and draw... unwanted attention. The Black King seems to... have a hard time focusing-in on Valerie herself, so just changing her location scattered His sight, I think...

I think... that's why she became so unwilling to leave the house. His way of forcing her to stay still for Him to find. Sounds like His kind of mindfuckery... right?

But... with me back? We couldn't stay. He finds me way too easily. I saw Him twice that first night back. Once on route to my friends' place. The other after we had settled into the motel. He had been standing outside. The... pull He has over me tightened like a choke collar around my neck, but I just jerked the blinds shut and sat on the floor in the dark with my back to the wall. It's nothing compared to the strain He put on me when I was forced to be alongside Doubletake.

From there... I'm following a simple rule. Drive during the day. Find a place to spend the nights. My head is better than it was, but I still can't stand the glare of the headlights at night. Every car just... splits my head in two. I can't handle it right now.

I have to give credit where credit is due. Morningstar may have ended our little spat dead, but he certainly made sure I limped away from it. Literally. I'm almost glad Valerie is still out of it. Least I have a chance to heal. Be less... startling for her to see. Black and blue usually suits me... but not exactly like this. My left eye has opened now... mostly.

Look. I know... a lot of you don't agree with what I did. Maybe, ultimately, it was wrong... I mean, I don't think it was, but my thinking isn't exactly... reliable. But, putting that aside... I still... want to thank everyone who at least tried to see it from my point of view. Who tried to understand. You... really could never know how much that means to me...

Other than that... not much to say. I've been reading my brother's journal... which reminds me that I still have to tell you lot what happened in the bush...

That should be fun.

Until then. Take care of yourselves.


  1. Nobody wantts this to happ0en to them
    but it doess. I get thant.
    Fuckdammmit the shakinfg won''t STOP

  2. I know you do.

    Stay with it, Spencer - I goddamn mean it, alright? Grit your teeth and get through it. Too many people are counting on you...