I Got Her

Yes, it's me. I'm back. Celebrations, eh? Mother fuck what a week... two weeks... ugh.

Valerie is... I wouldn't say "okay" cause she's not. But she's alive. I nearly... fuck, I nearly didn't make it. Another minute here or there and she would have...

...

She... would have walked right into His open arms.

Goddamn, what had she been THINKING? Roll over and play dead? Let it all end? Fuck that. Fuck ALL of it. Like HELL I'm letting her go down that route. Like Hell. Like. Fucking. HELL. She scared the living CRAP out of me. I drove like a maniac when I got away from that damn bush. From Christian/Split/Doubletake/Eclipse whatever the hell he's calling himself at this moment. I just... I drove. I don't even REMEMBER going across the border. No fucking clue how I got through. All that keeps repeating in my head is that split second when I was coming up to her house... and I saw Valerie in the middle of the street walking so CALMLY towards Father. I slammed on the breaks and jumped out before it had even stopped moving. I couldn't THINK I just... I just ran at them. No plan other than a continuous string of "nononononono" running through my mind.

My head exploded in this... high-pitched ringing/cry as I neared. He turned His stare to me. It only got louder when I didn't stop - I thought I would be deaf right now if I survived at all - and I grabbed Valerie by her shirt. I saw a blur of black and I threw/shoved Val behind me. She fell. I took a tentacle across my shoulder and the next thing I knew I was shaking my head clear on the ground across the street against a wooden fence. A wooden fence that now had broken planks. The pain didn't register then. I was sure I'd managed to fail again... but when I looked, I could see Him glancing back and forth across the yard. Valerie was still laying down - moving at a snail's pace to get back up.

He still couldn't SEE HER.

A lucky break, but I didn't have time to celebrate small victories. I bolted at Valerie, wanting nothing more than to get her away before He narrowed in... but He knew. I practically had to throw myself onto my back to avoid the tenticles that came my way - He Himself slowly, intentionally, walking my way. His attention on me felt like a fire burning up inside. I scrambled backwards, pulling out Christian's handgun. I emptied it in His direction. It did absolutely Nothing. Of course.

The closer He stepped to me, the more my mind burned. The ringing from before wasn't even registering now, but I heard this... hiss cut through in the air... and I felt like my mind was ripped in two. I know I screamed then. The pain was... unbelievable. Indescribable. I crumpled the rest of the way to the pavement at His feet, clutching my head in an agony that took away the entire world in one scorchingly cold swipe. I felt like... I was dissolving. Like He was erasing me. Down to every last particle.

Then... through it all, I saw Valerie across from me. On her feet again. Drawing near. I tried to shove the pain out of mind. I yelled at her to stay back. To run. To get away. She acted like she didn't even hear me. Just focused on Him. I knew then she needed me out of this alive. It would be both of us or neither of us. I lunged to my feet at that realization and did the only thing I could think of: I grabbed Baggataway's blade from my belt while stuck in some bizarre mindset that it was different. That it was more than a knife. I have to believe it. Even now. I couldn't have been... alone. I couldn't have... attacked Him... if I was alone...

I slashed at Him. I never felt like I hit Him... but I think I surprised Him. I got past somehow. Or He let me past. Either way, I grabbed Valerie's arm and bolted - dragging her with me to the car that was still running. I forced her into the passenger side and went around to the driver's, getting in and throwing it into reverse. When I glanced forward, He was still there. Standing in front of us. Watching. His head tilting sideways at that sickening angle and I felt the pain spike in my head again... and I heard Valerie mumbled beside me a string of words I instantly recognized... 

"Nothing burns like the cold."

I spun the car around and peeled off. Didn't stop driving for hours. Valerie never said another word to me. I... don't think she really even knows I'm here. Like I promised I would be.

...I never should have left to begin with.

We're somewhere safe for now. Or as safe as it can get. For obvious reasons, I'm not saying where.

So... that's her. She's alive. As for me... another bruise here. Another cut there. I...

...

You know what...? No. No, it's not "just another bruise here. Another cut there." It's not. IT'S NOT. Everything hurts. Every-fucking-thing. All my joints. Muscles. My head hasn't stopped POUNDING. I can't stop shaking. There's a feeling that crawls over my skin that I can't get rid of. My back is just killing me. Then there's my goddamn arm and just... I can't... I can't move without pain. But it's not even just outside. It's in. In me. It hurts. Fuck it hurts. From today. From always. It hurts. Being here. Doing this. It's constant. It never stops. The pain just never fucking stops...

You know... my eyes... my eyes... they were... bleeding. When I finally looked in a mirror, they'd been bleeding. They screamed back at me from my reflection that doesn't even FEEL like my reflection anymore. I almsot expect her to just turn and walk away while I watch, I can't... I can't...

God I'm tired. I need sleep.

Least I'm back with Valerie now. She will be okay. She will be...