Shit.

Goddamn... alright, so... had a long talk with Val. I... don't exactly feel "better" but I do feel... clearer if that makes any sense at all. She's upset, of course. Blaming herself, which I now have to somehow stop. I swear, sometimes she's just... too nice, you know? I deserve a fucking lashing and what do I get? Apologies. Seriously, hun, what the hell...

I nearly got her killed today.

I... would never have been able to live with myself if she'd actually...

...

If things had gone any differently today, Morningstar and I would have required some face-to-face time. Border crossing or not... I would have found the little bastard.

I'm too tired to get into details. Val will handle most of that, and I'll post my bits tomorrow or the next day or... whenever the hell. Just not now.

For now... I have been told I want to elaborate on what happened Saturday night. At this point... I guess it's the least I can do, right?

"As much detail as possible".... should I say what I was wearing too, hun~?

Heh.

Saturday...

It was a normal day. It really, really was... up to a point. I did my normal routine. I got up, did the horses, went to work, came back home, and then I went to do the evening chores at around 8:30pm.

During my walk to the barn, though, things were... decidedly less than normal. By the time I got to the half-way mark by the woodshed, I could see the horses were spooked up about something. Once I'd gotten to the gate up at the barn, all five of them were freaking out - galloping like mad spirits all around their paddocks. Heads up. Eyes wide. Nostrils flaring. Snorting. Calling. Just... obviously distressed about SOMETHING in the area. Most of my horses are thoroughbreds, so they weigh between 900 and 1400 pounds each. Trying to manage the lot of them was NOT FUCKING FUN and it doesn't take long for things to get very dangerous. One wrong turn. One kick. That's all it takes to get killed. Really, they wouldn't mean to kill me... I would have just got in their way.

Like if some moron gets hit by a train. Same deal~

Anyway, I brought them in and went about my chores to settle everyone in for the night... or, at least, try to. They were all fired up - spinning around in their stalls and nickering/whinnying at each other. Kicked at the walls, rasped their teeth on the wood... just generally upset and therefore aggressive. I stayed there a while with them even after everything was done to see if they would settle and they did... a bit. I turned the lights off and went back to the house, deciding I'd come back later to check again. "Later" became around 11:30-something at night. I went back and found the barn a lot quieter than when I had left it. Still not exactly "normal," but close enough to let myself go to bed. So... I began wandering back to the house with my amazing little flashlight.

I'd only gotten about a quarter of the way back - half way to the woodshed - when I saw Him. My flashlight had only illuminated Him partly from where He stood just off the tractor path to my right, but it was enough to catch my eye and... and then I turned the full beam of my flashlight on Him. In that instant... I felt like something hit against me, THROUGH me even, and my breath was sucked away. My lungs immediately began to burn, contrasting with the hellish cold that I suddenly felt everywhere else. I was shaking, but I... I just couldn't take my eyes off His "face." I could see the impressions where His features SHOULD have been... but... I'm actually glad He doesn't have eyes. If He can pin you down with His gaze with a handicap like that, I would hate to see Him with two eyes to help......

Then... I began to snicker. I was terrified - SHAKING - and yet I dared to LAUGH?! Fucking hell, I know I'm insane, but that's fucking suicidal. I just... I couldn't stop myself. It was like a switch had been thrown in my head and I COULDN'T FUCKING STOP IT. I can remember so vividly how he tilted his head at me... and then the headache hit. It... goddamn, I haven't had one that bad in... maybe ever. It felt sharp - splitting my vision and all I could do was clutch my head in my hand. At that point, even in my half-deluded laughing state, I KNEW I had to get away.

He was between me and the house.

What did I do?

I pulled my eyes away from Him and I forced myself to walk towards Him. Laughing still, even as I bit my lip to try to stop. I could taste my blood.

Then... I past Him.

He watched me the entire time.

He never did ANYTHING but watch.

That walk seemed to last for an hour, but I finally got into the house. Everyone else was in bed, so with one hand clamped over my mouth to stop myself from making too much noise, I went to my bedroom and collapsed in bed - burying my head in my pillow so my laughter wouldn't wake anyone.

They wouldn't have believed me. They didn't even believe in the spirits I had grown up with.

I was... scared... scared that I'd never stop. I laughed until my lungs felt ready to collapse and my stomach ached. My head still felt like it had an axe buried in it all the while, worsening the harder I laughed. Or did I laugh harder when my head hurt more? Anyway... eventually, it all backed off and after I-don't-know-how-long I was left in the silent darkness of my room. I was sore and exhausted, but otherwise alright... apart from the nosebleed, but that was trivial compared to everything else.

It was then that I pulled myself together the best I could manage and tried to get a hold of Valerie.

It's now past the twenty-four hour mark, and I haven't seen Him since.

Okay, you know what?

This isn't fucking funny.

It's not even a BIT funny.

I swear to fucking Lucifer himself that I'll rip out your guts with my bare hands, you son of a bitch. Yeah, I have long nails at the moment (all the better to tear you apart with, my dear). Really, 'claws' is probably a better description of them - they are pretty damn strong.

Just like me.

You don't have a fucking clue who you're trying to corner, buddy.

You think I'm all talk? Hm? That's funny, cause I think you're all smoke and mirrors.

Yeah, I know it's one of you. One of you fucking twats on the internet who somehow decided it would be fun to turn stalker-shit on me. You read my blog, and you choose ME, of all people?! I don't even have a word for that level of stupidity. I don't know how the HELL you got my info, but you'll regret it. Oh, sweet oblivion, you WILL. REGRET. IT. The plea "self defence" opens up a whole SHIT LOAD of possibilities for what I could do to you... and that's only IF I allow someone to find your body. Which, of course, they won't. After I'm good and ready, I'll dump your still-living mound of tattered flesh into the lagoon around the manure pile. Your very last seconds of life will be that of cow urine and liquid shit filling your mouth, throat, and lungs as you sink straight to the bottom. Sound good to you? I know it sounds FUCKING BRILLIANT to me!

What do you say, asshole? Wanna play~? I'm in need of a good laugh~

...

Yeah, peachy day, as the rest of you who may or may not be fucking reading this can plainly see. I have such a massive headache right now - I don't NEED some dickshit following me around thinking he's so fucking smart. I mean, I don't like people to begin with... and now I have to deal with this?! I LIKE MY FUCKING SOLITUDE, OKAY?! I like being left alone. I like being invisible. And you know what this prick is "saying" to me each time I see him by doing what he's doing?

"I see you."

I hate it. I don't WANT to be fucking seen, or noticed, or anything. Being noticed means having to deal with more attention, and more attention means more people.

I.

Hate.

People.

More people just mean more headaches. Then that's not even to mention the fact that some internet creeper now has my actual address somehow. Yeah. Not happy about that even a little bit. My internet obsessions and my real life are NOT SUPPOSED TO MIX. Like I said before: real face vs public face. And I know the little shitter is from here, because this is the ONLY FUCKING PLACE ANYONE KNOWS I KNOW ABOUT SLENDER MAN.

No one has ever commented on here, but, really, that doesn't mean shit-all. I don't comment on other blogs, after all, but it doesn't mean I'm not keeping track.

Whoever this is, they're in for a whirlwind of pain. No, I'm not kidding. If you're reading this, you've read the other entries so DON'T QUESTION MY FUCKING LIMITS, ALRIGHT?! I know I made a promise... but I think Val would want me to tear this fool a new one~ It's not like I can actually tell her though. THAT would go over wonderfully.

"OMG! Did you get a look at him enough to ID him? What does he look like?"

"Neh. He wears a black suit all the time and I can never make out his face! Oh, and this has nothing to do with that Slender Man guy I promised I wouldn't look into, by the way~ ^^"

I'm being followed by a fucking cosplayer.

No, I'm serious.

A fucking COSPLAYER.

I thought this sort of shit only happened to the major nerds at the Anime Conventions? Trust me to hook and line a complete wackjob even from a simple blog. I mean, this must take talent. I should get an award - THAT'S what should fucking happen after all is said and done!

So, yeah, I'm guessing it was this fucker all along I've been seeing. Yes, yes, I'm fully aware that I've only posted two sightings but, you know what? My life is not run by this blog. I only posted the stuff that I thought was actually amusing... and I still think that last one was a statue. All in all, I've probably seen this dork... fuck... uh... there was the first time at the back barn, then I saw him standing by our bush along the side of the road, then I saw him way off between two houses outside of where I work...

Oh, for the love of crap... I just realized he knows where I work too. If he makes an issue for my boss, I'll strangle him with one of the $90 belts that I priced and stocked today. It would be a far classier way of dying than the prick deserves.

Okay, mental derailments aside, I think I've seen him three times now. Could be more, but three times that I remember taking note of. Four times if we're counting the church.

I'm really getting pissed off with this little game.

I think it's time I played some of MINE.

It's Officially Official...

...I've been reading too many Slendy stories.

An impossible concept, to be sure, but, hey, I've done the impossible before!

For example: I've actually gone to church... once.

...Really, I'm surprised I didn't spontaneously combust upon entry.

Now THAT should have been impossible!

What I'm actually referring to through all those idiotic blabbering is.... I thought I saw Him this evening~

Yeah, no worries, I'm laughing too~

I guess this is what happens when an overactive imagination and an unstable mindset dives head-first into a pool of mind-warping paranoia. Top it all off with my usual work schedule and a nice side-dressing of stress... et voila~ Slender Man, for your viewing pleasure~

Really, I thought He would be taller~

I guess I might as well tell you about my THRILLING encounter with He That Is. As my readers-that-don't-exist-cause-no-one-is-reading-this-and-I-rather-like-it-that-way-because-it's-very-freeing-to-write-in-here-but-still-not-as-girly-as-some-fucking-diary, I'm sure you're on the edge of your seats with anticipation~

As I've mentioned before, my house is more or less surrounded by trees. There's a bush to the North, a bush to the South, a whole shitload of treelines that run along separating one field from another and acting as wind-breaks, and a healthy scattering of trees in the horse and cow paddocks. My horses - all five of them - take up residence at the Back Barn, while the cows obviously get the Front Barn. Very original names, neh? Anyway, the Back Barn is a good two thousand feet back from the house. Nice and isolated and a BITCH of a walk in the winter.

As per the norm, I do chores at night around 8:30pm... ish. They take about an hour to do, sometimes longer. Tonight I went back as I always do with our two dogs accompanying me, only tonight the trek was put to the soundtrack of the frogs in the pond screaming their little heads off in hopes of getting a mate - spring is HERE! FINALLY!

Anyway, I get to the Back Barn - an old hip-roof barn that was built a good hundred years ago - and start doing the chores as per normal. I turned on the lights, put down milk and food for the cats, mixed the grain for the horses, maneuvered around the dogs as they stalked the cats, brought the horses in, started giving out hay for the night... and that's when ALL the horses suddenly started acting nervous all at once. The whole lot of them started circling their stalls, snorting, and nickering a bit to each other. The dogs started growling and went to the door of the barn, hackles up.

Figuring something was outside, I grabbed my flashlight and went out. It was quiet now pardoning the dogs and horses, so I guess the frogs had decided to shut up. We have a spotlight at the front door, so I walked out to the edge of what was lighted and shone my little light around the surrounding fields. I was thinking I'd see a coyote pack or something like that - they don't bother the horses, but they can spook them and the dogs do get territorial. In any case, it's still good to know when they start getting up close.

In any case, I passed my light around... then, like a slap to the senses, the beam went across an unmistakable shape far out in the horse field. I immediately shot my flashlight back to that spot, of course, but my little hallucination had passed. He was gone.

It had only taken that split second and my heart was pounding so hard in my ribcage I thought I might have a heart attack there and then. I laughed at myself at that point, then went back into the barn and finished up the rest of the chores. I just got back from my little experience and decided to share my idiocy with my non-existent audience~

Heh. I swear, I must have done quite a number on my head to cook this one up. I freely admit to being insane, but this is the first time I've hallucinated something. Maybe I do need therapy... where's my bubble wrap...?

In any case, I'm taking a few days break of the Slenderverse. I've OBVIOUSLY been obsessing a tad too much.. which, really, just makes the whole thing even more hilarious~ Maybe I'll post a rant in a few days. No idea~

In other news... there is no other news~