You've GOT to be kidding me.

Could someone please explain to me... what the hell is so damn scary about death?

Seriously.

My mum is terrified of dying. One of my best friends is terrified of dying. Two of my "friends" are terrified of dying. One (that I know of) of my mum's friends is terrified of dying. I can honestly rattle off about eight other people just off the top of my head who I don't consider anything at all that are terrified of dying.

What. The. Hell. Is. The. Big. Deal.???

EVERYONE DIES. Okay?! Everyone and everything that lives, must die. Simple as fucking that. They don't call it the 'Circle of Life' for nothing. Go watch the Lion King for crying out loud - Mufasa explains it well enough to his little brat. It's ALL about keeping a balance. As humans, we already fuck up most things that we're involved in without even trying... but to try to avoid death? Are you fucking NUTS?!

Hold on, I'll rewind a bit here...

Apparently... some scientists are claiming... that within a span of twenty to forty years... we will have the knowledge and technology to make humans live forever.

Fucking. Immortality.

Seriously.

Like... this astounds me.

Abso-fucking-lutely ASTOUNDS ME.

Who in their right mind would want to be stuck in whatever life they have FOREVER?! Until the end of fucking time?! Which, really, probably would come shortly after this "miracle" hits the market because, let's face it, we all have someone we want to see dead. Wipe that option off the table, and we're likely to go batshit crazy... even more so than we are now. Running that certain prick over with your car just for the principle alone would get a little tiresome after a while when all they do after is brush themselves off and go buy their morning coffee. Honestly, some bright-spark of a country would probably say "fuck it" and start a nuclear war JUST to see what the hell would happen.

...Actually, that sounds like something I would do~

Crank up "Sound of Madness" as my soundtrack and just raise some Hell~ I can already think of one... two... THREE people who I know would be right there laughing like madmen with me. It's good to have some friends who are so close to my mindset~ Others try to claim a seat amongst my ranks, but I've flat out denied them. They aren't psychotic. They just claim to be because they're amused by those of us who actually are. I've only met one other person that can truly equal me... and he's fucking hilarious~

That's right. THERE'S MORE THAN ONE OF ME. MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAGAK---*COUGHGAGCHOKEWEEZE*

Getting back on topic... can no one else see that this is a very bad idea? How to explain this in simple tongue... have any of you seen the movie "Daybreakers"? Granted, they turned everyone into vampires in that thing, but the same vague idea stands with normal people. Eventually, you'd want to die and be unable to do so. I honestly cannot think of any other situation that would be more painful than that. It's like those people who are fully-paralyzed. You're trapped inside yourself and, no matter what anyone says, your life is completely out of your control.

By taking away our ability to die, you're actually taking away our ability to live as well.

Yeah. Now that's deep~

You know who it is that I find rather ironic that they fear death? Religious people. No, I'm not being mean... no more than usual, anyway. What I mean is... aren't they supposed to be covered? Their souls under insurance or warranty or whatever? That was the idea I got from the whole concept. Shouldn't it be us heathens who should fear the final curtain drawing shut? Since we don't really have a fucking clue what we're actually doing or what awaits us? Is it black? Is it cold? Is it just the abyss? Do we start over? I believe that latter. But religious people... don't they want to meet their maker, as it were? It honestly confuses me. These people actually fear an afterlife that they are currently preparing for. They supposedly already know what is waiting for them on the other side, and yet... they fear their prize after being good little boys and girls? How does that make even a lick of sense? Unless you haven't been good little boys and girls, in which case... sucks to be you, buddy~

Hm. Or is it more... that we fear dying and not actually death in itself? That we fear the process of? That these people fear in what manner they will make their final scene? How painful? How traumatic? How quick or slow? The 'foreplay', for lack of a better wording~

Yep, I just compared death to having sex.

BONUS POINTS FOR CROSSING A LINE OF SOME SORT~

Speaking of an impending gorey demise (I still love that song~), I thought I saw Slender Man again. Turns out it was a statue~ Stupid churches and their screwed-up windows... why must the church put a statue right in front of a goddamn window? I couldn't see it very well, but I'm sure that's what it was. Probably a statue of Jesus or whatever...

...And now I just compared Slender Man to Jesus. EXTRA BONUS POINTS~~

~*~BONUS LAND~*~

(I miss my Nintendo NES.... I wanna play Mario, dammit!)

You know, while writing this rant, I started thinking even more about death and, from there, my thoughts went to the death nightmares I had growing up. There were some pretty fucking intense things getting thrown at my young mind back then... and I remember so many nights that I'd cling to Zeddy for dear life and try to disappear with him. Zeddy was and is, of course, my old teddy bear. I still have him, but he sits on the top shelf above my desk now wearing my graduation hat - the All Seer of my room, if you will~

I've had Zeddy for as long as I can remember. He has grey hair/fur(?) that's just the right kind of softness/stiffness and these brown eyes that just look so damn thoughtful~ He came with a hat and a scarf, but I ripped those off when I was little cause they made him look like a dweeb. I also gave him a haircut when I was like... three or four... I have a vague memory of hiding behind the couch as I did it, in any case. THREE CHEERS FOR WEIRD KIDS. Anyway, his hair is about the third of the length it was supposed to be, but I STILL say he looks exactly as he should. Plus, he has whiskers~ My mum sowed on some brown string to make them because, apparently, he NEEDED whiskers to my little young mind. He's just... completely unique~ Not another one like him anywhere. It seems I made sure of that~

I was such a freak.

Not much has changed, neh?

I don't know why, but some of those nights when I had buried my face into Zeddy... when I would talk to him under the covers just to break that deafening silence in the night... they've been coming to the forefront of my thinking lately. I hadn't even looked at that stuffed toy for years, and suddenly things are now actually reminding me of how much I used to depend on him? Seriously. What the hell?

Always the Fucking Same.

30/08/11 - This... is a rant/rage I was thrown into when I found out that a close friend of mine (Tanya) was getting dragged through the dirt by a once-friend of us both (Justin). I needed somewhere to blow steam so I wouldn't say something stupid to Tanya during the entire conflict. I had to watch Tanya cry. I wanted to kill Justin. I really did. I don't care what the fuck any of you say. I needed this rant. And I still stand by it.

Humans.

Genetically closest to pigs. Physically closest to monkeys. Mentally closest to sheep. Behaviorally closest to fucking viruses.

Try to deny it.

I fucking DARE you.

The Matrix may have been a shitty series (okay, the first one was decent enough), but they did get that one concept dead-on. We're an invasive species on this planet. I swear, we fucking have to be. The only other things that devastate as efficiently as we do are viruses and other invasive species in other ecosystems. Like the bullfrogs in Australia, for one example out of the literal THOUSANDS out there that are only considered "invasive" now because we - us 'Wise Man' - fucking BROUGHT them there! I mean, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that if you take a foreign body and place it somewhere that it has never had ground in before that it is going to fuck. With. The. System.

NOT THAT HARD.

Oh, but don't be fooled, my dear friends, for our ignorance and arrogance does not stop there! Oh, no, for what fun would it be to exclude our own race from this shitfest~? No fun at all~ Like rabid dogs, we wag our tail at a fellow pack-mate one second, then sink our own teeth into their throats the very next - ripping out as much life and spirit as we possibly can like our own lives depended on the bloodlust. Even when our once-friends cower in defeat, it is never enough. Chew off a leg. Bite off their ears. Claw at their flesh. TEAR THEM APART. It's not enough to betray! Not nearly enough! We have to make them hate themselves - for surely it was their fault that such a wonderful friend such as you would turn against them! Yes, That's what you want, isn't it?! To make them feel like a piece of garbage! To deceive and lie and then plunge the dagger straight through the very spine of your chosen fool... does the blood gurgling in their throat get you off, I wonder? Do you like watching the soul of someone who actually did care for you shrivel and die?

I swear. Some of you are fucking LUCKY that I made a promise. Because otherwise I'd be STRINGING THE LOT OF YOU UP BY YOUR OWN FUCKING INTESTINES!!!

See... I happen to agree with the good doctor, Hannibal the Cannibal Lector: One should dine on the rude~

Good people, after all, are an endangered species in these times. It's not respectable to pick off their numbers when they are so few and far between to begin with.

Besides... using the sadistic and crushing nature of the common man against them... 'tis a beautiful thing~ People don't seem to like the game so much when they find themselves on the losing end. Not that I can do as much as I'd like to them. No, I have to keep focus... but, oh my sweet oblivion, what wonderful visions invade my mind of what I would do to all of you. It makes me smile to think of it~

Bodies - thousands of them - hanging from makeshift gallows all across towns and cities with their buildings and trees all put to equal use~ These ones... these fools that I actually bothered to hang now swing subtly in the calm breeze - skin paled to a bluish white and lips stark blue. Rigor mortis is already a faded memory for most - their limbs free to shift with the faintest movement of nature as their clothing ruffles softly in a manner that reminds me of a gentle wave on the beach. Flowing. Peaceful. Quiet. A stark contrast to the bloodbath below their feet. The streets would be coated in a sweet crimson bath provided by the corpses of humans that the world is better off without. My knives would feel like just extensions of my arms as I continue to hunt every last one of you sons of bitches.

What sweeter vision do I have in my head... than a man collapsing to his knees as he desperately tries to stop his organs from spilling out of his gashed-open abdomen~? He now lay crumpled up into a ball amongst all the others - still holding himself as he most likely prayed for his precious God to save him or smite me or both. What a pity, really~ Spending your last moments with a figment of man's overactive imagination - a figure created for that sad, sad lonely man all those years ago who screamed to the heavens, "What meaning is there to my life? Why am I here? What can I do?" Justin was also highly religious. One of her blades against us was how we were both going to Hell, and she to Heaven for she BELIEVED. Yes, I'm aware I took it too far. I will not apologize.

Why, serve the church, my son, and pave your path to paradise and the great Father!

...Or, at least, a cardboard cutout of what you want Him to look like. Ignore all similarities to Greek Gods, that's entire your imagination and don't forget that individual thought is BLASPHEMY~ Collection plate, yes~? Pay your dues or God will plague your family and make your horse eat your cow~ Okay? Okay.

Religions... feh. Butcher houses of the mind~

After all, religion has fueled so much hatred, has it not~? "Join us or you're going to burn in Hell!" Huh, oh really? And your nutcase leader who convinces his own people to blow themselves up will be spared? The Priest who gets a little too jolly with the alter boy will be delivered? The seventh-day activist who escapes into the bottle and beats their kids is good-to-go?

Hehe~ Ah, and you were getting so steamed because you thought I was focusing on the church alone, didn't you~? Well, sorry to burst your bubble - but all of you stand in the same river of blood and bone. Can you smell it? Taste it on your tongue~? Feel it cling to you, pull at you, claw at you? Those are the ones slain by the organizations you all bend your knee to. Of course, it is human nature, yet again. We fear the unknown, and what is more unknown than what happens after death? I suppose it is not the fault of the sheep that they follow the shepherd's lead. They figure he knows where the green grass is, hm? How to seek shelter against weather and those oh-so-savage wolves? The original ideas, I'm sure, were pure ones. One really can't be surprised that it broke so badly. It's a captive audience, after all. Such practically breeds corruption~

It all comes down to the same thing. Always. One person believing that - for whatever reason - they deserve everything and that person or thing over there deserves pain, suffering, death, or worse. No one sees equal ground. No matter what part of history you dissect, it's always the same damn thing repeated over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and no, this isn't 'copy, paste', I'm actually typing this over and over and over and over and over and over and over andoverandoverandoverandoverandoverANDOVERANDOVERANDOVER...

It's always the same.

Can you tell... I've had one Hell of a fucking day?